The Boss is Dead, Long Live the Boss
The Audiophiles become the Bossophiles
The latest in The Audiophile Sessions took the form of a tribute to giant of rock – a tall, commanding figure, ageing somewhat, with an acquiline profile, outstanding career behind him and yet more ahead. Yes, founder member Comrade Yates, is moving on.
As is well known Comrade Yates is a significantly lunatic follower of ‘The Boss’, buying all new releases in multiple media and generally displaying very little sense of balance and taste. Since the inception of the Audiophiles Cde Yates has occupied almost all his time trying to find ways to fit a Springsteen song into any category. The Audiophiles, who work hard to find fault in music of all genres, have occasionally directed cruel invective towards Cde Yates on this account.
The group therefore decided to enact a little ruse at Cde Yates’ expense. The choice of category for the meeting was rigged so that ‘cover versions’ was triumphant. We knew that Cde Yates would interpret ‘cover versions’ as a further excuse to offer us something written or performed by the great man – and he did. The remainder of the group were secretly set the task of finding the most regrettable Boss cover of all time.
It proved a remarkably rich area of study as the absolute lemons which head the charts show. At the meeting not only did the ruse reveal itself slowly. All but Cde Yates stripped off layers of outer clothing to reveal high-sleeve-rolled checked shirts, blue jeans and biker boots…
Cde Mason
Kid Harpoon and Florence Welch – I’m going down; rejected for being too cool
Cold War Kids- State trooper; rejected for being too cool
Dion- If I should fall behind; rejected for being too cool
So my choice is the 1978 live recording of the Rockabilly version of
Fire by Link Wray with Robert Gordon
Cde Anderson
I’m torn too.
Kids Incorporated’s version of Glory Days will really upset Springsteenophiles, including the totally naff video. It includes a little Clarence miming the sax, and the line about ‘the wink of a young girl’s eye’ is priceless, complete with literal actions. Haven’t even got to the beautifully adapted child friendly lyrics yet.
RATM’s Legend of Old Tom’s Gonad or whatever it’s called, was an early favourite. But stuff it:
KIDS INCORPORATED Glory Days
Going with Kids Inc. The 80’s knitwear tips it. Beautiful; like she’d been coached by Jeff and Duncan, but only slightly better. Also, I love the way in verse two the writers skilfully turned the struggle of an emotionally damaged long term single mum who battles to find something good in her life, into a mildly peeved 13 year old whose memories of her ex-boyfriend of two weeks makes her yearn for those easily forgotten glory days. Bet Bruce kicked himself when Kids Incorporated made him realise he got those lyrics all wrong…
Cde Phillips
My choice is
Kermit The Frog singing and performing “Dancing in the Dark”.
The You Tube clip says it all! Now for the checked shirt, the sleeves rolled up, the jeans, that sort of thing. ow where did I put those cowboy boots ….?
Cde Deller
Having the usual dilemmas – too much to choose from – and trying to weigh up kitsch crap: Frankie Goes To Hollywood or McFly doing ‘Born to Run’- from the real crap Anggun & I Muvrini – ‘Streets of Philadelphia’ – and the reasonable: Amy McDonald ‘Dancing In The Dark’ or Bat For Lashes ‘I’m on Fire’. Pretty certain ‘The Boss’ (our Boss) will hate them all though.
I am going for
Frankie – ‘Born to Run’.
Cde Callas (in absentia)
The Durham Ukulele Orchestra – Springsteen and the ukulele – a match made in heaven.
Cde Tamvakis
I rejected a version of ‘The River’ by The Clarks – an upbeat little version but a little more sensible in a Lloyd Cole style.
In the end I found one – not my usual style but it was too good to let drift by…
BORN IN THE USA covered by Stanley Clark. A bit of RAP with BASS oh how lovely.
Chosen on the basis of what would cause our dear departing to cringe the most?
Cde Walsh
I’m going for
Hank Williams III’s version of Atlantic City.
They don’t make country music like this anymore. Thank God.
My favourite boss song, entirely stripped of all its bleak meaning, complete with a line-dance beat, a country fiddle solo, a yodel and a time signature change.
The lyric of the song says: Everything dies baby that’s a fact/ But maybe everything that dies some day comes back…
The Boss cannot possibly come back after this, and W J M ‘The Boss’ Yates’s credibility cannot possibly recover from this.
Therefore the Audiophiles’ nominations for the top 10 worst Springsteen covers of all time are:
Kid Harpoon and Florence Welch – I’m going down;
Cold War Kids- State trooper
Dion – If I should fall behind
Link Wray with Robert Gordon – Fire
Rage Against The Machine – Ghost of Tom Joad
Kids Incorporated – Glory Days
Kermit The Frog – Dancing in the Dark
McFly – Born to Run
I Muvrini – Streets of Philadelphia
Amy McDonald -Dancing In The Dark
Bat For Lashes – I’m on Fire Pretty certain ‘The Boss’ (our Boss) will hate them all though.
Frankie -Born to Run
The Clarks – The River
Stanley Clark – Born in the USA
Hank Williams III – Atlantic City
Making it undoubtedly into the top 10 bad ones:
LINK WRAY, RATM, FRANKIE, THE DURHAM UKE ORCHESTRA, HANK WILLIAMS III, STANLEY CLARK, MCFLY, I MUVRINI, KIDS INCORPORATED plus ANY ONE FROM A SERIES OF RELATIVELY RESPECTABLE ARTISTES
But the WINNER, and the THE VERY WORST BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN COVER OF ALL TIME – by a landslide – Hank Williams III’s version of ATLANTIC CITY – taking the prize not just the dazzling range of its appalling features but for the vast distance between Hank’s ‘interpretation’ and the meaning and scope of the song.
NEXT CATEGORY: DEFINITELY NOT COVER VERSIONS, as wrongly posted, but ONE HIT WONDERS.
the audiofile sessions 